Tag Archives: truth

How to be Authentic … and Appropriate

Authenticity is a word that seems to be very hot lately.  We are encouraged to be authentic and authentically express ourselves.

But what does authenticity truly mean? And is it possible to be too authentic? Are there times when fully expressing ourselves is actually not appropriate

I’ve been thinking a lot about authenticity as it has been something I have been working on with my coach and has also been the theme this month for my Inner Circle membership community.  I share some insights and tips on how you can be both authentic AND appropriate in today’s video.

In the video I explain how to be authentic and responsible. Authenticity is not about saying whatever we want with no regard with how it may impact someone else.  It is also not about over-sharing and processing our wounds publicly.

Authenticity is about speaking our truth with love. Sharing for the purpose of connection rather than to get attention or validation. It is about being ourselves without judgment or self-consciousness.  To be authentic requires radical self-acceptance, learning from our perceived mistakes and moving forward with awareness.   Most of all, authenticity is about owning our gifts and expressing them in a way that FEELS good.

I encourage you to reflect on how you can be even more authentic in your life.  Do an inventory of your relationships, choices and behaviors and ask yourself, “Is this in alignment with what I really want? Am I being 100% honest with myself or others?” And if your answer is no to those questions, consider making some adjustments.

Be authentic by creating an external life that matches your internal truth. Tweet this!

EP 12: How to Deal With Rejection

Episode____12If you have ever dealt with the pain of rejection, this episode will help!  Perhaps you’ve heard, “Rejection is God’s Protection” but the process of rejection feels pretty awful until we learn what it is really about. Our caller today, Alex, has courageously opened up to another person and shared her truth with them. But the other person did not reciprocate her feelings. She asks me how she can get over her heartbreak and rejection and get on with her life.

If you have ever felt the pain of rejection or find yourself in an avoidance trap, listen to the tips I give Alex at the end of our call. You can also find resources in my book, Expectation Hangover, to help heal yourself.

We also talk about speaking our truth – which takes takes courage. We ponder on how our message will be received; but if we believe in our truth, there is value in getting it out into the world.

When our truth needs to be told to another person and they don’t realize the outcome we are hoping for we often take it personally. We perceive their response as if something is wrong with us or we did something wrong.

Our fear of the possible rejection is an avoidance trap. An avoidance trap is spending our time and energy avoiding what we don’t want rather than working towards what we do want.

By understanding that we consistently attract experiences to help us heal our core wounds, we realize rejection doesn’t really exist. It is merely a projection of unowned, unseen qualities inside us.


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Consider/Ask Yourself:

What are you construing perceived rejection to mean about you?

What was so attractive about the person or situation you feel didn’t choose you?

Is there someone you have feelings for but are too scared to tell them?

Has something upset you but you don’t have the guts to speak your truth?

Alex’s Question:

Alex wants to know how to best handle the heartbreak and rejection she is feeling after telling someone she loves them and finding out the feelings are not mutual.

Alex’s Key Insights and Aha’s:

  • She struggles with feeling as though she didn’t fit in while growing up
  • She feels she gave away her power
  • She is learning to read people
  • She realizes she is stronger than she thought she was
  • She doesn’t need to look outside herself for her worthiness

How to get over it and on with it:

  • Don’t look to others to find your own worth
  • Trust your desires and have faith
  • Be kind to yourself during this time

Tools and Takeaways:

  • Let go of anger and resentment – Empty out your “negative” emotions in a letter and then rip it up
  • Write a goodbye letter you don’t intend to mail that includes:
  1. ○  I’m saying goodbye because …
  2. ○  I learned from you …
  3. ○  I thank you for …
  4. ○  I forgive myself for …
  5. ○  I forgive myself for …
  • Say what you need to say – Speak to the person even if they are not there
  • Set boundaries with yourself and move on
  • Engage in activities that encourage self-acceptance
  • Do a positive projection exercise

Resources:

Christine Hassler
Expectation Hangover
@christinhassler

Tweetables:

Are you exerting more effort to avoid things you don’t want rather than towards things you do want?
Are you having trouble getting over heartbreak and wondering what you did to cause it?
Do you find it difficult to express how you feel to another person?
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