Tag Archives: anger

EP137: Feeling Unhinged and Rebellious with Jen

EP137This call is about is about getting over body image issues and having a healthy relationship with food. Today’s caller, Jen, has come a long way in healing body related issues but still feels unhinged when it comes to food. She realizes she is making unhealthy choices when it comes to food.

Many times, people who are doing self-love and body image work people do, they try to jump right to loving their body without acknowledging that maybe they are pissed off at it. We often cannot get to the love if we don’t acknowledge the anger.

And to get out of the energy of being a victim we must look at the lessons we learned or the catalyst and how it was useful in our life; otherwise, we will just continue to hold on to the pain.

When we work a lot on our issues, it can often make things more frustrating because we feel we have already done so much work and we don’t understand why we still have the issue. If you relate to this, cut yourself some slack. Remind yourself that growth and healing is a process, not an event. If something comes up again, it means you are ready for the next level of healing.

Whatever your biggie issue is I promise you are on your way. Freedom will come!

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you struggle with truly loving your body? Do you feel comfortable and safe in it?
  • Do you rebel when it comes to food and get in a pattern of getting unhinged when you stop restricting yourself?
  • Did you grow up in a strict, religious, or suppressed household?
  • Is sexuality an area of your life in which you feel satisfied and empowered or do you feel disempowered or numb?

Jen’s Question:

Jen would like help in making healthier choices. 

Jen’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She was sexually assaulted and feels shame around it.
  • She doesn’t feel safe in her body.
  • She grew up in a religious family.
  • She felt awkward in her body.
  • She believes her body has caused her more pain than pleasure.
  • She wants to love her body.
  • Much of her joy and pleasure comes from food.
  • She is a Self-Love Coach.
  • She uses food as rebellion.

How to get over it and on with it:

  • She needs to explore her sexuality.
  • She should look into S Factor dancing to experience movement and relaxation.
  • She should start talking to her body and write an apology and a love letter to it.
  • She needs to reclaim her body.
  • She should work on her intimate relationship with her body. 

Assignments and Takeaways:

  • Growth is a process, not an event. Write down how far you’ve come instead of beating yourself up about how far you have to go.
  • Write an apology and a love letter to Jen.
  • Find out more about exotic dancing and practice expressing your body.
  • Start to notice things throughout the day that feel good about being in your physical body to help create a mind-body connection.

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — For those interested in being on the show

EP:133 — Reclaiming Your Sexuality and Getting Over Body Image Issues

Oh no, this again? Blog Post 

Tweetables:

You can’t mentally self-talk your way into self-love. In order break through the belief that… Click To Tweet It’s hard to be in self-love without really enjoying being in your body.… Click To Tweet Growth is a process, not an event. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet

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EP 134: How to Get An Ex Out of Your Head with Andrea

EP134

This call is about is about reconnecting with our younger self and practicing real self-love. Today’s caller, Andrea, can’t get a guy out of her head. Is she following a pattern that started in her childhood?

If an ex is still taking up real estate within your head it’s probably not the person. There is something deeper within you that is begging for your attention and love.

In a relationship, we have to use discernment to know what is really a deep connection. Oftentimes, what we think is a deep connection is really infatuation and a positive projection. When we are getting to know someone we need to take off the rose-colored glasses. If you are feeling a deep connection to another person make sure you are also feeling a deep connection to yourself. Don’t get lost in the hormones of infatuation.

We must connect to the parts of us we have shamed or disowned and commit to having a more loving, nurturing relationship with ourselves.

Sometimes, we are scared of our own emotions but what about vulnerability? We don’t have to power through our emotions. It’s not weak to be vulnerable. It doesn’t make us a victim. Being vulnerable is incredibly courageous and powerful. Go slow, be with your emotions and be compassionate. So many of our emotions in our adult life stem from our childhood stuff. If we continue to power through our emotions we attract experiences that try to trigger them so we can finally feel them.

Would you like to become a masterful, profitable coach? Join me in Sydney, Australia on April 14th & 15th to fast-track the success of your coaching business. Visit Christine’s Master Class for more information. I am also holding a one-day Women’s Retreat for 10 women on April 13, 2018, in Bondi Beach. It’s a condensed version of my signature retreat. Email Jill@ChristineHassler.com to sign up.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Is there an ex or anyone else that you have had a difficult relationship with and you can’t get them out of your head?
  • Do you have the same kind of relationship patterns and the same results in relationships?
  • When you were younger did you often feel bullied, duped, left out, or isolated?
  • When you try to connect to younger parts of yourself do you feel silly? Do you find it hard? Is it difficult for you to do?

Andrea’s Question:

Andrea is looking for guidance as she tries to get an ex out of her head.

Andrea’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She hadn’t connected with someone so deeply before.
  • She is looking for someone to grow with her.
  • She doesn’t feel worthy of love.
  • She was bullied as a kid.
  • She judges herself.
  • She feels disconnected from her younger self.
  • She is nourishing her body with food instead of overeating.

How to get over it and on with it:

  • She needs to nurture her younger self and tell her that she is capable of being loved.
  • She needs to reconnect with the part of her that feels ashamed and alone.
  • She should stop dating for a while.
  • She should attend a Mastery course.
  • She should check in with her little girl every day.

Assignments and Takeaways:

  • Start a communication with the younger parts of yourself. Get a picture and talk and write to yourself.
  • Take a pause from dating or doing things that reinforce the pattern that you want to break.
  • If you can’t get over an ex, see it as an alarm that triggers you to pay attention to yourself.
  • Sign up for my Mastery class coming up in May.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community

Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner

Christine on Facebook

Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Assist@ChristineHassler.com — For those interested in being on the show

Tweetables:

Underneath anger, there is usually hurt. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet

Do you soothe yourself with food? Do you know why you do it? http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet

If an ex is still taking up real estate within your head, it’s probably not the person. There… Click To Tweet

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EP 105: How to Take Responsibility for Why Your Relationship Ended and Move On with Mary

EP105v1This episode is about taking responsibility for the part you play in relationships and realizing you did nothing wrong. Today’s caller, Mary, is having a challenging time letting go of an ex. She is obsessing over his new relationship and can’t seem to get over it, even in therapy. During the call, Mary makes a major shift.

It is hard to get over it and on with it when we are not honest with ourselves. I felt it was important to empower Mary with the ability to take responsibility for how she showed up in her relationships. It’s important to look at how we are showing up and what it is creating.

Mary is critical of herself and hard on herself for the choices she makes. Her unprocessed anger, sadness, and lack of fulfillment in her own life were leaking out onto her partner. She wasn’t being her best self to herself.

The more unsettled and unhappy we are in our own life the more we tend to be irritable, snappy, impatient, or mean — often to the people we love the most. I recently wrote a blog, “#1 Tool to Avoiding Conflict in any Relationship” to address this.

As women, It is important for us to know when we are in our masculine and how it throws off the polarity in a relationship.  Mary was in her masculine when she created conflicts. I highly recommend the work of Alison Armstrong and David Deida can be useful resources for understanding how polarity works in any type of relationship.

Also, Mary was so focused on her ex she used his new relationship as a distraction from learning the lesson of the relationship. When we obsess about others we avoid looking at ourselves. We can not fixate or attempt to understand someone else without understanding ourselves first. Even if we weren’t 100% our best selves, we need to bring the focus back to ourselves and look for the lessons.

What is your Expectation Hangover teaching you?

I will be in Indonesia, Bali, and Malaysia at the end of September. I have Coaching sessions available for those time zones. If you are interested in being put on the waitlist to be on the air with me, email Assist@ChristineHassler.com and make the subject ‘Alt time zone coaching session’.

Are you frustrated and worried about your finances? Do you feel like you have enough money to live the life you deserve? Brittney Castro of Financially Wise Women can help you to feel mature with your money and eliminate fear around your finances with her free money training class. Watching it will help you bust through the three things that are holding you back from getting your finances under control.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Is there something from your past you are having a hard time letting go of?
  • Are you obsessing about a person or situation so much that it is taking up a lot of your mental energy and preventing you from being able to move forward?
  • Can you admit you haven’t always shown up as your best self in a relationship or situation?
  • Are you willing to take 100% responsibility for your life?

Mary’s Question:

Mary would like to know how to accept her breakup and get over her ex.

Mary’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She has been seeing a therapist about the issue.
  • She has been cheated on in her past relationships.
  • Her father was emotionally unavailable.
  • She would pick fights with her ex.
  • Fixating on her ex is distracting her from learning a lesson.
  • She may believe the relationship ending is her fault.
  • She doesn’t want to have to take action to get him back.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She should take responsibility for 100% of her 50% of the breakup and realize she didn’t do anything wrong.
  • She should take three months to focus on herself and have no contact with her ex.
  • She should envision what moving forward looks like.

Takeaways:

  • How can you really take responsibility, even when you want to feel like a victim, and own your end of something that didn’t turn out like you planned?
  • Forgive yourself. We all learn the same way. Beating yourself up will not help you learn, grow, or heal any faster.
  • Is there someone in your life you need a break from?
  • Always look for the lessons. Any Expectation Hangover or any hardship is bringing you an opportunity to heal. Instead of asking “Why is this happening to me,” ask “Why is this happening FOR me?”

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Inner Circle Membership Community

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

Jill@ChristineHassler.com

Expectation Hangover

“Over It and On With It Personal Mastery Course”

The PodcastOne Survey

Christy Whitman Coaches Corner

Alison Armstrong

David Deida

Tweetables:

You cannot change the past but you can learn from it. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR #overitandonwithit Click To Tweet

We perpetuate suffering because we don’t recognize the lesson. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet

Sometimes we pay more attention to an external partner than we pay attention to the kind of… Click To Tweet

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