Tag Archives: blog

Tips for loneliness

The feeling of loneliness is incredibly painful.  It can be particularly difficult this time of year where there is a lot of pressure to “deck the halls” with others and curl up roasting some chestnuts with a special someone.

The last thing I want for you this holiday season (or any other time of year) is to suffer by feeling alone.  The biggest gift you can give to yourself is to change how you experience time alone.  I realize that is easier said than done which is why my vlog this week is all about giving you ways to overcome and reframe loneliness.

I encourage you to watch the video for more details but here is a short summary if you only have time to read.

First, be very mindful of what you tell yourself when you are alone.  The fact that you are alone is not why you feel lonely.  The meaning you give being alone is what creates the feeling of loneliness.  If you tell yourself that you are a loser or something is wrong with you or life would be so much better if you had someone there, you are going to suffer.  If you choose loving and supportive thoughts while being conscious of not making not having people around mean anything negative about you, your experience will change.

It is MUCH easier to do what I suggested about when your connection cup is full.  Make an effort to make plans, get out with friends, get involved in hobbies or volunteerism, or anything else that gets you around people. Invite people to things, do not sit around and wait to be invited. Be proactive about being around people so that when you are alone, it can feel like a time to recharge and reconnect to yourself.

I spend quite a bit of time alone so this is something I have really learned to put into practice for my mental and emotional health.  I balance being out in the world and connected to others with spending time with myself.  If my connection cup is not full, then I am way more likely to feel lonely.

Also, we experience more loneliness when we do not feel a connection to some kind of Higher Power.  When our spiritual life is rich, we truly know that we are never alone (tweet this!).  We know we are part of the Oneness and loved unconditionally by our Higher Power.  If you realize your spiritual life is a bit poor, I encourage you to start a meditation practice, read some spiritual texts, listen to audios or podcasts – basically do anything to get yourself connected!

Loneliness is one of the most painful human experiences because it reinforces the illusion of separation. When we think we are on our own and feel disconnected we are more likely to feel sad, anxious, and worthless. 

As humans we NEED connection. Please do not wait for someone else to come and take the pain away. Be proactive about changing your story of being alone and filling your connection cup.

You are not alone!

Love,

Christine

p.s.  Did you catch this week’s podcast episode?  I coach Natalie on moving from awareness to actual change.  Go here to listen to ep 117.

So much good stuff for your ears!!

This time of year seems to be busy for so many of us. It also can be triggering for many of us and I have some videos coming out for you in the next month around dealing with loneliness, stress and family dynamics during the holiday season. Stay tuned for that.

Today I want to update you on what’s been happening on the Over It and On With It podcast where I coach people live on the air.  We have had some amazing episodes lately.

In episode 114, I coach Arelle on turning off an ‘on again and off again’ relationship.  This call is about understanding the basis of relationships that feel like an addiction. When we have a relationship that feels like an addiction or a drug it generally comes from a childhood wound. It is important, developmentally and psychologically, to have a healthy relationship with our parents. If we don’t have a healthy relationship with our parents, and as adults we don’t resolve our issues through inner work, therapy, coaching or spiritual practices, we go looking for what we didn’t get from our parents from the people we date. Often, it is our younger self who picks our relationships . . . and that does not turn out so well!

Go here to listen to episode 114

Episode 115 is about expiration dates in friendship. We are not always good friends to ourselves and it can be reflected back to us in our friendships — like it is in my call with Claire. One of Claire’s friendships has just reached an expiration date and she is learning valuable lessons from it. Other people can be mirrors for us and often, it takes someone else to wake us up. If a friend treats us badly enough it causes us to look inside ourselves to understand what it is showing us. It can show us the kind of friend we are being to ourselves.

Go here to listen to episode 115

And don’t miss episode 116, where I coach Shanna on breaking out of a self-imposed prison cell and taking a conscious action which will lead to change. Shanna needs to squelch her limiting beliefs and embrace her strengths and her power. She has been punishing herself. Shame does that to us. When we feel ashamed about something we overcompensate and that becomes our punishment. Anytime we are in overcompensation mode and do not allow ourselves to live the life we really want, we keep ourselves in a self-imposed prison.

Go here to listen to episode 116

What I love most about this podcast is that in listening to these live sessions, you will realize that you are not alone. We ALL go through challenging things and have obstacles to overcome. It is my honor and great JOY to hold a space for this kind of deep work.

If you would like to be coached on the podcast, email assist@christinehassler.com and we will get you on the waitlist.

And if you are a fan of the podcast, please go to www.christinehassler.com/itunes and leave a rating and review and/or share about the show on your social media platforms. Thank you for your support

Sending you a big dose of love and light,

Christine

A gratitude ritual and affirmation for you

I love the week of Thanksgiving here in the States! Cultivating a consciousness of gratitude is a MUST for anyone who is committed to living a fulfilling life. Plus, when we are aware of what we do have, we are a lot less inclined to obsess about all the things we don’t (and have fewer expectation hangovers!).

My personal gratitude practice consists of an evening gratitude ritual that I have done for years. Every night before I go to bed, I write a list of things that happened that day that I am particularly grateful for. Things like a rockstar parking spot, magical moments of serendipity, a fabulous meal, a laugh with a friend, or noticing an old pattern or trigger come up that offers me an opportunity to work my process. My gratitude journal is also a wonderful way to keep a diary of my life. I love looking back through it to reflect on past moments and celebrate lessons and blessings.

Now I’m sure you’ve heard the suggestion of keeping a gratitude list; however, are you actually doing it?

I assure you, it makes a huge difference. Dozing off with appreciation in your heart will positively impact your quality of sleep and the state you wake up in. So get yourself a journal and cuddle up with gratitude.

And for an extra dose of gratitude, I offer this affirmative prayer from my grateful heart to yours . . .

I’m grateful for everything in my life that has led me to this moment as it has all been part of my unique destiny. ((Tweet This!!))

I am grateful for all the people who I have met for a moment or known deeply for they have all been my mirror and my teachers.

I am grateful for all the times I have thought I have failed for I know now they taught me resilience.

I am grateful for all the heartache I’ve experienced because it means I am willing to open my heart.

I’m grateful for when I’ve had more because it taught me how to give and I’m grateful for when I’ve had less because it taught me how to receive.

I’m grateful for the miracles I experience in my life as they have reminded me of the magicalness of the Universe.

I am grateful for my body exactly the way it is because it is the absolutely perfect package for my soul.

I am grateful for all the various forms of abundance that I recognize in my life.

I am grateful for every tear I’ve shed because I’ve learned compassion.

I am grateful for every hurt I’ve experienced because I’ve learned forgiveness.

I am grateful for every time I’ve suffered because I’ve learned acceptance.

I am grateful for the times I have felt alone because in those moments I found my way back to my connection to the Uni-verse.

I am grateful for my gifts and my courage and willingness to express them.

I’m grateful to live with an open heart.

I’m grateful to be able to choose my response to anything.

I’m grateful for my freedom.

I’m grateful to love, be loved and BE LOVE.

Happy Thanksgiving. I am grateful for YOU.

Love,

Christine

P.S. Make sure to check out episode 115 where I coach Claire on vanquishing self-criticism and letting things go that no longer serve her, so she can get what she wants from life.
Go Here to Listen

Stop trying so hard to be yourself!

With so many opportunities to see people doing extraordinary things or expressing in unique ways it can be easy to feel, well . . . ordinary.

I get the pressure to be a “Unicorn.” It seems like we are consistently encouraged to be different and stand out from the crowd in order to be seen. Those without particularly eccentric personalities can feel somewhat boring or even invisible.

But here’s the truth. NO ONE is ordinary. We are all extraordinary in our own ways and it is time we embrace this rather than try to alter or amplify ourselves to get attention or validation.

You do not need to be any different than who you are authentically. If you are questioning who you authentically are, consider that you trying too hard to be someone you are not by trying to live up to societal expectations and/or people pleasing.

In today’s vlog I encourage you to stop trying to be a unicorn and be a YOUnicorn.

Stop trying so hard. The essence of who you truly are will shine through once you get out of the way. You do this with self-acceptance and by letting go of comparison.

Express yourself in ways that feel good to you. Let go of trying to look good.

You are the ONLY one who can be you and you are exceptional at it so just do you! (tweet this!).

For more on the topic of authenticity, go here.

And I always love to hear your thoughts and comments so please share with me below.

Love,

Christine

p.s. Keeping up with podcast episodes? There were some really great ones this week!

In episode 113 I coached Sara on getting over self-sabotaging behavior so she can step into her potential and have health, wealth and impact. Go here to listen.

Plus, I recorded a coaches corner on perfectionism and over-prepping. Go here to listen.