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Oh no, this again?

Do you ever feel as if you have really healed an issue or gotten to the other side of a difficult situation and then WHAM something happens and all of a sudden you feel like you are back at the beginning?

Are we ever done? Do things get easier? Is it possible to truly be free of something that has plagued us for decades?

No, yes and yes.

No we are never done. Life is a continual process of learning and growing. But, yes, things do get easier and, yes, we can truly be free of things that have haunted us for a lifetime. Some things just take longer than others and we need multiple lessons.

Also, a lot of issues have many layers to them and our psyche can only deal with so much a time. The way I have seen healing work is that we have times of tremendous breakthroughs that carry us for a while and then, when we are ready for the next layer to be revealed and healed, a triggering event will occur to move us to the next level in our growth.

I recently had an experience where a very old and familiar button got pushed and it is one of my biggest buttons: rejection. It was unexpected but hauntingly familiar.

This time instead of getting sad, I got mad. I was so over that button being pushed in the way it was pushed that I went into that “No, not this again” kind of feeling. At first I tried to resist it but as we all know, that is not effective. I had to put my life coach hat on and remind myself that there must be another level of healing for me to get to with this particular issue. When an old, familiar button gets pushed it just means the button is still there.

What I realized is that once again I was taking the rejection personally instead of seeing that it was happening for me and could have been the result of the other person’s fear or limiting beliefs. In other words, maybe it had nothing to do with me.  Now I can get that mentally but embracing that concept has been challenging for me. So I channeled my anger into being mad at the fact that I have given my power away so many times when I took rejection personally. Let me emphasize, I did not direct anger at myself (never direct anger at yourself). Rather, I expressed how angry I was about allowing others to ever make me question my own worthiness.

The next level for me was reaching an even deeper level of empowerment and trust that whatever is not for my Highest Good will not happen. This level also required letting go of attachment. (I wrote about that last week so if you missed that blog, read it here)

So if you can relate to the feeling, “Oh no not this again” I assure you that you are on the precipice of your next upleveling!!  Do not buy into the misunderstanding that you are backtracking because you are not. There is another layer to explore that you are ready for . . . now all you need to do is be willing to explore it. Stop resisting. Stop judging. Stop being frustrated that you are working on the same issue because it is not exactly the same, it is occurring in a new way so you can learn something new.

Our biggest, most recurring issues and triggers are also our biggest growth opportunities, so embrace them! (Tweet This!!!) Welcome the familiar trigger because it means deep down you really want to relate to it differently and the only way we can relate to things differently is through practical application. In other words, to truly be free of our deepest pain, we draw in situations that trigger it until we learn how to relate to the trigger in a way that does not cause us pain.

Now is the time to flood yourself with so much compassion. Be a student rather than a victim of your life. Trust you are moving forward and be grateful for every triggering experience that is catalyzing your growth!

Questions? Comments? I am here to help! Please post below.

Much love,

Christine

P.S. Do you feel really stuck in your head and really want to listen to your heart and intuition but cannot seem to hear it? Then don’t miss episode 136 of my podcast where I coach Emma on moving from rational thinking to feeling and compassion.  Learn how to stop “figuring it out” and start feeling into what is most aligned for you.  Go here to listen. 

P.P.S. If you have been wanting to be coached on the podcast, I have exciting news!!! Coming up, on May 24th, you are invited to apply to receive free coaching and be a guest for our in-studio shoot hosted in San Diego, CA.
Please email jill@christinehassler.com and let her know you are interested in applying to be a guest!

P.P.P.S. Have you been wanting to take your coaching business to the next level? Them make sure to register for my Masterclass Training for Coaches, June 30th and July 1st in San Diego, CA. You will learn to..

  • Turn your passion into a career: spring into revenue building action with practical and personal guidance.
  • Make money as a coach: specific money-making techniques take your coaching aspirations from pipe-dream to profit.
  • Become a better salesperson: gain confidence and get better at enrolling clients; learn how to turn top objections into coachable moments.
  • Excel as a confident, effective coach: get your clients results, become more comfortable in your abilities and knowledge, and release fear and self-doubt.
  • And SO much more – Go here for more details and to register.

Letting go of wanting

Greetings from Australia! Today I was having a chat over lunch with my longtime Aussie pal
Amir Zoghi about surrender. We were discussing the importance of letting go of attachment especially when we really desire something. Amir dropped this truth bomb:

“The best way to get what you want is to NOT want it.”

There is such wisdom in that simple statement. The more we want something, the more attached we are to getting it and attachment is something that usually leads to an expectation hangover.

Why does attachment lead to disappointment?

When we are attached to getting a specific result we put far more pressure on ourselves, another person, or a situation. Instead of being in the flow of life, we put our desires in a pressure cooker and project way too far into the future. For example, you have an idea for a business and you begin to set specific goals that you want to hit. As soon as you believe that hitting those goals is going to make you successful, happy, or whatever it is that you want to feel, you are attached. Or let’s say you are longing for a relationship and someone comes along who has potential. The second you want it to turn into anything more than it is right in that very moment creates attachment.

When we become attached to the outcome of how we want something to turn out, we miss out on a lot of things. We miss out on clearly hearing the voice of our intuition because we are future focused and intuition resides in the present moment. We miss out on the preciousness of the moment. We get so caught up in an end result that we skip the learning that comes with being right here, right now. We also miss out on guidance from the Universe or possible red flags because we are so tunnel vision focused on what we want.

So does this mean that we should not want things? Or does it mean we should not set goals?

Well first of all I would not dare to “should” all over you but I will offer you my point of view on this that comes from a LOT of life experience of setting goals and wanting things . . . and consequently expectation hangovers!

Desire is not bad or wrong. It is an important feeling to have because it is a compass. Yet we often misunderstand desire. We think we desire a form or result but we truly desire is the feeling that we believe that form or result will give us. Going back to the examples from above, if you have a career goal it is actually not the goal your mind came up with that is driving you. You are really chasing the feeling you think achieving that goal will give you. Will achieving a goal make you feel successful, proud, and financially secure? If so, generate those feelings without having to hit any specific goal and allow your plans to unfold. Similarly, if you want a relationship, you are really chasing the feeling you think being in a relationship will give you. Will being in a relationship make you feel loved, validated, and passionate? If so, generate those feelings without needing someone else there.

The way to let go of attachment AND still get what you desire is to cultivate the feelings you think what you want will give you without actually having to have it.

Are you willing to let go of your attachment to the belief that you need something external to make you feel a certain way?

Back to what Amir said, “The best way to get what you want is not to want it.” If you are currently cultivating the feelings you desire in the future, you would long for nothing because your experience would be one of completeness. Nothing would feel like it was missing. And from this whole place, anything else that happens only enhances the experience you are already having.

You would be able to let go of the energy of attachment, which I assure you will create much more flow, joy and presence in your life. It also will not push away people or opportunities that feel the pressure cooker of your attachment energy.

I get that this is not an easy concept to comprehend, much less practice, because we live in a world where we are very conditioned to be believe our feelings are a result of results, but they are not. Our truest feelings and desires come from our inner truth and the more tapped in we are to the truth of who we are, the more we realize that we truly have everything we need and want.

I realize you may have thoughts and questions on this topic so please comment and let’s get a discussion going!

Much love,

Christine

P.S.

Read this if you’re a coach or want to be one

I believe that coaches serve the world through the work we do. It’s our purpose on the planet: to help others be happier, healthier, wealthier, more connected and more fulfilled.

We do this in big and small ways from helping a single client shift their perspective to launching global initiatives that transform lives.

It’s an honor and a joy to be a coach. I LOVE it.

And…it takes a lot of work to build and run a profitable business as a coach.

But that work is worth it.

If you agree, I hope you’ll join me at my friend Dallas Travers’ first annual Six Figure Coach Summit.

This free, online event is designed to give you real and measurable traction in your business so you can make more money and help more people.

Inside, you’ll get a free seat to more than 20 mini masterclasses taught by some of the most gifted and successful coaches around.

I’m really proud to say that I’m one of them and I’m going to teach you how to Build Your Business By Being an Extraordinary Coach.

Dallas has put a lot of heart and soul into creating an truly exceptional online event and it’s just fantastic that she’s sharing it for free.

You can check out the full speaker lineup and reserve your free spot here.

The Six Figure Coach Summit kicks off on April 9th. See you then!

Much love,

Christine

P.S. I am in Australia and I’m teaching TWO RETREATS.

On April 13th I’m hosting a one-day women’s retreat. Come together with other like-minded women for an incredibly intimate and transformational day. The day will include:

  • Guided meditation and visualization.
  • Identification of the major obstacles in between you and what you desire…and an action plan to remove them.
  • Release of negative emotions that are holding you back and possibly making you sick.
  • Clarification of your life purpose.
  • Adopting an “abundance” mindset and letting go of your limiting money stories for good!
  • Hot seat coaching…a unique opportunity to be coached by Christine in person

Email jill@christinehassler.com for more details and to RSVP.

On April 14-15th I am teaching a workshop for coaches, therapists, personal trainers, and anyone who wants to build a business in the personal growth field. It is with Primal Health Coach but open to ALL fields. Limited spacing so go here to register.

Do you have enough pleasure in your life?

Pleasure. What comes to mind when I say that word?

These days we talk a lot about success, health, and consciousness but we do not talk as much about pleasure. And by pleasure I mean the things that make us feel good being in our body. Massage, dance, feeling the warm sun on our face, the taste of chocolate, an amazing hug, great sex, these are just a few examples.

We can get so caught up in our day-to-day activities and spend so much time in our mind that we forget we actually have a physical body that is here for us to enjoy. Instead of loving and appreciating our body such that we experience pleasure by inhabiting it, we put ourselves in hell everyday by judging it. And for so many of us (especially women), we criticize it, compare it, starve it, punish it, obsess about it, and work really hard to change it.

Why do we do this? The current societal images of what is attractive definitely do not help, yet there is usually a deeper issue. As children, if we ever were abused, shamed, or felt unsafe in our body, even just once, we may have started a protective pattern of disconnecting from our physical body and our sexuality.

Not being connected to our physical body in a way that we are truly loving it is often at the root of issues like depression, body image and even eating disorders. This is exactly what I discovered in my coaching session with Heidi on this week’s episode of the podcast.

Heidi has struggled with anorexia and body image issues for most of her life. Now, 33 and married, she has the disorder “under control” yet she cannot seem to shake the constant obsession with her physical appearance. She asked me to help her get to the root of the issue – and we got there as we explored her relationship with her own sexuality.

Go here to listen to Episode 133

I highly recommend listening to this episode and reflecting on how much pleasure you are currently physically experiencing in your life. If you are stressed, anxious, depressed, or obsessing about your appearance I can 100% guarantee that you are not experiencing enough guilt-less, healthy PLEASURE in your life.

My encouragement for you today is to reconnect to your body. Reclaim your sexuality. Go find and feel more pleasure. And, make sure to listen to episode 133 for some tips.

Remember, your body is the temple for your soul. You DESERVE to enjoy it. It is not here to be judged and criticized, it is here for you to experience all the pleasures of being human. So get out of your head and into your body!

Much love,

Christine

P.S. I am headed back to Australia and I’m teaching TWO RETREATS

On April 13th I’m hosting a one-day women’s retreat. Come together with other like-minded women for an incredibly intimate and transformational day. The day will include:

Guided meditation and visualization.

Identification of the major obstacles in between you and what you desire…and an action plan to remove them.

Release of negative emotions that are holding you back and possibly making you sick.

Clarification of your life purpose.

Adopting an “abundance” mindset and letting go of your limiting money stories for good!

Hot seat coaching…a unique opportunity to be coached by Christine in person.

Email jill@christinehassler.com for more details and to RSVP

On April 14-15th I am teaching a workshop for coaches, therapists, personal trainers, and anyone who wants to build a business in the personal growth field. It is with Primal Health Coach but open to ALL fields. Limited spacing so go here to register.