Tag Archives: fear

Relationship Expiration Dates and Fears of Failure 

It has been a juicy couple weeks on the podcast!

Last week I coached Trinette who has been on again and off again with her ex-fiancé.  She calls it a “volatile” relationship and is questioning what she “should” about this particular man…but the issue is really not about this particular man it goes back much further.

Also, I bring up the term co-dependence in this episode. I am hesitant to throw out labels and I am never giving anyone a diagnosis; however, sometimes having a term that can help us understand something and realize we are not alone is helpful. After the call I do breakdown and explain co-dependence more so be sure to listen to that.

 Go here to listen to episode 97 

Now let’s shift gears to talk about failing.  Particularly, the fear of failing.  In this week’s episode I coach Lindsey who thinks she is calling in to ask me about time management and finding balance. But her block has less to do with time and more to do with her fear of failure. 

If you can relate to always having a “plan” and never wanting to fail or let anyone down, this is a must listen!

Go here to listen to episode 98 

I hope you enjoy and learn from these podcasts.  If you do love listening, please help spread the word about the show. Here is a tweet from you that I copied from a recent review of the show:

Listen to this excellent life coaching podcast on relevant topics related to personal growth and happiness. So inspiring! (tweet this!)

Have an awesome day!!!

Love,

p.s. How would you like VIP access to an incredible tribe of like-minded people and me as your coach?  If that sounds appealing, then join my Inner Circle!  This unique, intimate group composed of men and women from around the world and you can enroll at any time. It is a monthly membership that you can cancel at any time. Learn more here or email jill@christinehassler.com to set up a call and discover if Inner Circle is right for you.

EP 98: How Your Fear of Failure is Sabotaging Your Success with Lindsey

EP98v1This episode is about moving past your fears and getting over it and on with it. I coach today’s caller, Lindsey, on how to move from awareness to implementation. She knows the next steps to take but cannot figure out why she isn’t taking them. She thinks her problem is about time management, productivity, and balance but, as you will hear in the call, it’s not about that at all.

What do you think about failure? Imagine you fail, or you get a no, or your endeavor is a complete flop. What happens inside of you? What do you think and feel? Are you embarrassed?

A healthy relationship to failure is an essential ingredient to success. Failure is defined as lack of success. But defining success is more difficult because if success is learning something, growing, or having experiences that make us stronger and wiser, then we never really fail. In my opinion, the only way you fail is if you go into the hopeless, helpless victim mode.

Stop playing it safe just because you want to avoid failure. Instead of taking teeny, tiny baby steps, get out of your comfort zone, and jump in the pool so you can move forward.

You have to drop the guilt and give yourself permission to do what you want.

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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • How are you at moving from awareness to implementation?
  • How do you feel about failure? What has been your biggest failure to date?
  • What steps do you know you should take, but don’t seem to be taking?

Lindsey’s Question:

Lindsey would like to know how to take action and use her time more wisely.

Lindsey’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She lives in an Expectation Hangover.
  • She’s never made a step without having a plan in place.
  • She’s feeling paralysis from analysis.
  • The fear of change is holding her back.
  • There is a piece of her that remains unfulfilled.
  • She knows the status quo will lead to regret and remorse.
  • She has a fear that no one will want to work with her.
  • She feels guilty about her lack of focus.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She should give herself permission to do what she wants to do.
  • She needs to take steps that don’t threaten her sense of security but are still out of her comfort zone.
  • She needs to write out the expectations she makes of herself and then create agreements with herself.

Takeaways:

  • Take a risk and let yourself fail.
  • Write down your expectations and then make agreements with yourself, and stick to them.
  • Give yourself permission to go for your dreams, even if it means failing.

Sponsor:

Audible — Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial with this link.

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Inner Circle Membership Community

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@christinehassler on Instagram

Jill@ChristineHassler.com

Expectation Hangover: Overcoming Disappointment in Work, Love, and Life,
by Christine Hassler

Primal Blueprint

Tweetables:

People who are planners have big daydreams but don’t take action, because they don’t like uncertainty.… Click To Tweet

Only you can decide the level of risk you are willing to tolerate, but the higher the risk, the higher the reward.… Click To Tweet

Don’t let the fear of failure keep you from taking action. You can leverage your failures as learning opportunities.… Click To Tweet

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Overcome your fears and get unstuck!

Do you know what to do but you still don’t seem to be doing it?

Could the reason be that you are actually scared of success? This seems like a crazy fear to have because we want to be successful but often there is an unconscious belief that keeps us from taking the steps that lead to success.  The same goes for failure.  On some level we know that we will learn from any mistake, but we are still terrified of taking steps that could lead to any kind of failure.

This is exactly what I coach Becca on in EP 87 of my Over It and On With It Podcast.

Everyone defines fear and success differently, but usually our fear of success has to do with concerns around being seen more, feeling unsafe, feeling more responsibility for changing, or losing ourselves in some way. Our fear of failure normally has to do with avoiding rejection, loss of money, status, or security, judgment from others, or our own self-criticism that we endure if we fail.

So, how do we overcome these fears? It requires more than taking action steps towards your goals . . .

Go here to listen to me coach Becca over her fears of success and failure!

I also want to tell you about episode 88 where I coach Lena who feels lost and stuck. During our coaching session, we uncover some past trauma and guilt that is causing her to feel as if she is living in a “black hole.”

If you can identify with feeling stuck yourself, that’s actually great news!!!  Why? Well some people go through life just going through the motions and live rather unconsciously. If you are aware you are stuck or lost, you are more likely to discover the trigger, and move beyond it!

Go there to listen to me coach Lena out of feeling lost and stuck.

Finally if you enjoy my podcast, it would mean the world to me if you share about it! Here are some tweets or share in your own words on your favorite social media channels.

Loved listening to @christinhassler coach on getting over the fear or failure and success on #overitanonwithit http://bit.ly/2q2O4lq (Tweet this!)

So many aha’s listening to @christinhassler coach a caller out of feeling stuck and lost on #overitandonwithit podcast http://bit.ly/2qwaxWr (Tweet this!)

Thank you for listening!

With love,
Christine

p.s. Only one week left before my LOVE retreat in Austin. Are you joining us? Learn how to uplevel all relationships in your life by mastering self-love, romantic love, and love of purpose and community.  Go here for details and to register.

p.p.s. How would you like VIP access to me as your coach and an insider look at my best tips and tricks to empower you to uplevel your life?  If that sounds appealing, then join my Inner Circle!  This unique, intimate group composed of men and women from around the world and you can enroll at any time. It is a monthly membership that you can cancel at any time. Learn more here or email jill@christinehassler.com to set up a call and discover if Inner Circle is right for you.

EP 87: Overcome the Fear of Success and the Fear of Failure with Becca

EP87v1This episode is about overcoming the fear of success and the fear of failure. During the coaching session with Becca, it is clear she intellectually knows what she needs to do to build her business, but she can’t commit to doing it.

Everyone defines fear and success differently, but usually our fear of success has to do with being seen more, feeling unsafe, feeling more responsibility for changing, or changing or losing ourselves in some way. Our fear of failure normally has something to do with rejection, loss of money, or status, or security, judgment from others, or our own self-criticism that we endure if we fail.

So, how do we overcome these fears? It’s about more than taking action steps towards your goals. Maybe, you have tried to overcome it by just doing whatever it is. But, until you upgrade the beliefs and old triggers, which perpetuate the fear, you will continue to find yourself in your own way.

Many people think money will make them feel better about themselves or make them more confident. But it doesn’t — confidence is an inside job. We can’t create self-worth from money, but we can create net worth from self-worth.

When we have self-worth and do the internal work, we express our gifts and align with our higher purpose. We are then able to attract money to us. It is important for us to have a wealth consciousness.

Aubrey Marcus and I are facilitating a 3-day retreat in Austin, Texas over Memorial Day weekend for men and women. The focus of the retreat is Love: Practice Makes the Master. There will be yoga, breathing exercises, ecstatic dance and more. Come and become part of the tribe.

My Inner Circle Membership Community is an eclectic community where anyone can find a home. Transformations and bonds are created by people sharing and connecting with each other. Email Jill@ChristineHassler.com about joining.  Or, ask Jill about a private one-on-one session.


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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • What are your fears around failure or success? Do you know what to do when it comes to your business, but you aren’t doing it?
  • Is there a part of you that has longed to fit in?
  • Do you feel guilty if you have too much good in your life?

Becca’s Question:

Becca is about to start a new quest but she finds herself unable to get started.

Becca’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She didn’t like growing up privileged.
  • Cooking is her way of connecting to people.
  • Guilt and shame were at the core of her eating disorder.
  • She enjoyed having a secret, which was her eating disorder.
  • She has an unhealthy relationship with money and success.
  • Her guilt prevents her from stepping into her passion.
  • She is scared not to have connections with people.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She needs a new image of what success and wealth look like.
  • She should write out her new definition of fitting in, and her definition of success.
  • She needs to give herself a feeling of longing and connection.
  • She needs to work on feeling grateful.
  • She should get a business coach.

Takeaways:

  • Write out your new definitions of success and failure. Get clear about how you want to define success.
  • Write out your worst-case scenarios around success and failure.
  • Identify the payoff of your negative emotions and find a way to get the payoff in a positive way.
  • If you are starting a business, invest in a coach to help hold you accountable.

Sponsor:

Audible — Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial with this link.

Resources:

Christine Hassler
Christine Hassler Podcasts
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
Inner Circle Membership Community
Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler
@christinhassler on Twitter
@christinehassler on Instagram
Jill@Christinehassler.com
Love: Practice Makes the Master Retreat
Sean Croxton Sessions
Quote of the Day Show with Sean Croxton

Tweetables:

We can’t create self-worth from money, but we can create net worth from self-worth. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet
When we have competing intentions we bounce between being stuck and being overwhelmed. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet
Wanting to fit in is, at its core, about connecting to people. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet

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