Tag Archives: fear

EP 108: Trusting Your Intuition in Love & Relationships with Sandra

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This episode is about listening to your intuition and getting clear about what you want from a relationship. Today’s caller, Sandra, realizes she may want to continue her current relationship due to familiarity or comfort and not because it is truly what she wants from a relationship.

Be mindful of what you are scared of and what you are making your number one fear. Sandra’s fear of losing herself should have been the fear she is paying attention to.

What legitimate fears should you pay more attention to? For example, the fear of losing someone you may be doubting the relationship with or the fear of spending additional years in an unsatisfying relationship? The fear of leaving your job and having less money for a while and dealing with uncertainty or the fear of spending the rest of your life in a career you hate?

Fear can serve us in some way. It can light a fire in us to make necessary changes and when we take action we don’t need the fear. But if you are tapped into the wrong fear you start doubting yourself.

Sandra’s soul wants to know who she is, independent of who she is in a relationship. Will she make the choice that serves the highest good?

If you want to learn to bring your unconscious to your conscious mind so you can remove obstacles from your life join me for my free No Regrets Master Class. Awareness is only the first step. You need a strategy to turn your struggles into your superpowers. During the class, I will share the Iceberg Principle to show you how to do it. Sign up and join me on October 11, 2018. Let me help you live your life with no regrets.


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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Is there something in your life you are uncertain about?
  • Do you feel guilty about something you have done in a relationship?
  • Would you love for someone you are in a relationship with to change?
  • Are you struggling with a decision but deep down you know what to do?

Sandra’s Question:

Sandra would like some clarity around her current relationship.

Sandra’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She’s afraid of losing herself in her relationship.
  • She hasn’t had any time alone in her adult life.
  • She’s not sure the relationship is healthy.
  • She felt responsible for fixing the relationship.
  • She may be asking for permission to make a decision.
  • She may be playing her father’s role in an effort to get closer to him.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She should take three months to do some soul-searching.
  • She should write down the reality of what the relationship was.
  • She should make some self-honoring choices.

Takeaways:

  • Get clear on which fear you need to be paying attention to.
  • Look at the parent you are most like or becoming.
  • Where do you need some space in your life?
  • Use prayer or meditation to find out what is the highest good for all involved.
  • Join my No Regrets master class.

Sponsor:

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Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@ChristineHassler on Instagram

2018 Bali Retreat Wait List — Email Jill

No Regrets Master Class

Tweetables:

Join my No Regrets master class and learn to live your life with no… Click To Tweet

We never truly lose ourselves in a relationship, we just become more focused on another… Click To Tweet

Being honest is the most self-honoring and loving thing we can do.http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet.

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EP 101: How Do I Take Action When I Have Anxiety and Fear? With Suzanne

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This episode is about taking action when faced with fear and anxiety. I coach today’s caller, Suzanne, through her pattern of catastrophic thinking, worry, and anxiety, to allow her to respond differently to her fear-based thoughts. If you can relate to feeling like fear and anxiety stops you, or if you are a bit of a worrywart, you will receive a lot of value out of this coaching session.

Worry is using our mind to come up with and visualize worst case scenarios, instead of using the power of our mind to visualize what we truly want to occur.

On some level, we think it’s protecting us or keeping us safe. But all it’s doing is creating more anxiety.

When we feel fear, it’s important that we first be with the part of us that feels scared and anxious. When we get scared as adults, we need to learn how to respond to it in a way that feels reassuring. A big part of this can be addressed by self-soothing. Most of the ways we attempt to soothe ourselves are not about soothing at all. We may be numbing or distracting ourselves. We run away from the fear by working, eating, sedating ourselves with drugs or alcohol, or using social media for hours.

But the more we ignore it, the bigger the monster becomes, so instead of running from your fear, face it head on. It doesn’t mean you have to conquer it, just be with it. What does it need from you? If the fear has a message for you, what’s the message? Can you trust yourself to sit with it rather than run? Tell yourself you are safe, and that everything is OK. Be a reassuring voice to yourself.

As you will hear in the call, Suzanne’s sense of self, and ability to feel safe regardless of external conditions, wasn’t developed, so she didn’t feel safe when she was outside of her home.

Like many of us, Suzanne said she understood my coaching intellectually but she still found it hard to shift in the moment. But, it’s the follow-through that matters.

That’s why I designed my Inner Circle membership community to focus on a certain quality every month. We focus on moving something from awareness into integration. So change actually happens. It’s more than learning concepts, you learn to integrate what you are learning into your life.

My podcast is now part of the Podcast One Network. By downloading the Podcast One App you can find out about your favorite shows, you can comment and connect with other listeners, watch videos, and watch 360-Virtual Reality Videos. A couple shows you may want to check out are my interview with Brandi Glanville on Unfiltered, and Mentoring Moments, a place to get mentoring from women you may never meet.


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Consider/Ask Yourself:

  • Do you worry a lot? Do you have a tendency to imagine worst-case scenarios, or have a habit of waiting for the other shoe to drop?
  • Do you think that preparing for the worst protects you from being disappointed?
  • Did something challenging, traumatic or catastrophic happen to you as a kid, so you live with nervous anticipation that something bad will happen again?
  • How are you soothing yourself when you go into fear, anxiety, or panic? Are you able to calm yourself down? What are your coping mechanisms?

Suzanne’s Question:

Suzanne wants to know how to take action when she feels crippled by anxiety.

Suzanne’s Key Insights and Ahas:

  • She is a catastrophic thinker.
  • She doesn’t deal with losses well.
  • She didn’t feel emotionally safe as a child.
  • She had an eating disorder in college.
  • She surrounds herself with mentally stable people.
  • She tries to put her emotional health first.
  • She practices negative self-talk.
  • She seeks reassurance from outside herself.
  • She lets her mind run the show.

How to Get Over It and On With It:

  • She should find a new way to relate to herself to get a consistent experience.
  • She needs to acknowledge when she is in the midst of catastrophic thinking, and practice self-soothing techniques.
  • She should do the Release Writing exercise from Expectation Hangover.
  • She should practice Kundalini shaking to get rid her nervous energy.
  • She should start owning who she is, what she feels and what she loves about herself.

Takeaways:

  • Find a way to self-soothe, read “My Best Tips for Reducing Anxiety” about calming yourself down and dealing with anxiety.
  • Make sure your sense of self is not externally referenced. Look at where you are projecting a feeling of safety. Do you feel like you need to get it from an outside source?
  • Imagine your best-case scenarios — instead of using your imagination to imagine things all the things you don’t want, imagine all the things you do want.
  • The Future Forecasting exercise in Expectation Hangover is a great way to start visioning your best-case scenarios.
  • Allow yourself to get excited about things!

Resources:

Christine Hassler

Christine Hassler Podcasts

Inner Circle Membership Community

@ChristinHassler on Twitter

@christinehassler on Instagram

Jill@ChristineHassler.com

Expectation Hangover: Overcoming Disappointment in Work, Love, and Life,
by Christine Hassler

Podcast One

Tweetables:

Worry is using your mind to come up with and visualize worst-case scenarios. It’s a poor use of your imagination.… Click To Tweet

External conditions should not dictate how you feel inside. http://apple.co/1hO8XZR… Click To Tweet

The more ways you need to make you feel safe and calm the less you need anxiety.… Click To Tweet

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How to take action when there’s anxiety and fear 

There are things you want to do.  You want to start dating. You long to speak your truth.  You are so ready to quit your job. You crave putting your art, words or message out in the world.

Yet something stops you. And it’s not even some external obstacle. It’s your own anxiety, worry or fear.  You imagine the worst-case scenario or engage in paralysis by analysis all in an attempt to calm your concerns, yet this just makes them worse!

So how do you take action when so much doubt and fear is in the way? This is exactly what I coach Suzanne on in this week’s episode of Over It and On With It. She has a pattern of catastrophic thinking, worry, and anxiety that is keeping her from living the life she longs for. If you can relate, you will receive a lot of value out of this coaching session.

Go here to listen to Episode 101 with Suzanne!

Worry is using our mind to come up with and visualize worst-case scenarios, instead of using the power of our mind to visualize what we truly want to occur. On some level, we think it’s protecting us or keeping us safe. But all it’s doing is creating more anxiety.

When we feel fear, it’s important that we first be with the part of us that feels scared and anxious. When we get scared as adults, we need to learn how to respond to it in a way that feels reassuring. A big part of this can be addressed by self-soothing. Most of the ways we attempt to soothe ourselves are not about soothing at all. We may be numbing or distracting ourselves. We run away from the fear by working, eating, sedating ourselves with drugs or alcohol, or using social media for hours.

But the more we ignore it, the bigger the “monster in our closet” becomes, so instead of running from your fear, face it head on. It doesn’t mean you have to conquer it, just be with it. What does it need from you? If the fear has a message for you, what’s the message? Can you trust yourself to sit with it rather than run? Be a reassuring voice to yourself. Tell yourself you are safe, and that everything is OK. 

As you will hear in the call, Suzanne’s sense of self, and ability to feel safe regardless of external conditions, wasn’t developed, so she didn’t feel safe when she was outside of her home.

Like many of us, Suzanne said she understood my coaching intellectually but she still found it hard to shift in the moment. But, it’s the follow-through that matters.

That’s why I designed my Inner Circle membership community to focus on a certain quality every month. We focus on moving something from awareness into integration. So change actually happens. It’s more than learning concepts, you learn to apply them and create changes in your life.  Go here for more on how to join us.

Today I invite you to consider:

  • Do you worry a lot? Do you have a tendency to imagine worst-case scenarios, or have a habit of waiting for the other shoe to drop?
  • Do you think that preparing for the worst protects you from being disappointed?
  • Did something challenging, traumatic or catastrophic happen to you as a kid, so you live with nervous anticipation that something bad will happen again?
  • How are you soothing yourself when you go into fear, anxiety, or panic? Are you able to calm yourself down? What are your coping mechanisms?

Be sure not to miss my coaching session with Suzanne as I coach her (and you) out of a self-imposed prison of worry, fear and anxiety!  Go here to listen now.

And remember: Worry is a poor use of your imagination! Use your imagination to visualize what you truly desire instead (tweet this!)

With love,

Christine

100 and Going Strong

I am thrilled to share the 100th coaching call on my podcast aired this week.  When I began this podcast a year and a half ago, I had no idea if it would be successful. I felt as if people would benefit from hearing other people be coached on air but I had no guarantees.

I had so many questions when I began. Would anyone even sign up to be coached?

Would people be willing to have such vulnerable information shared publicly? Could I help people in just 20 minutes? How the heck do I figure out how to put this together logistically? What technology will I use? What should the structure of the show be? How much will it cost?

All these questions delayed me for about eight months.  I had the idea and the desire, but my uncertainty kept slowing me down. Finally I took my own coaching advice and took one small step at a time until eventually our first episode “Overcoming Self Doubt and Fear with Anneke” was released.

What an appropriate title right? I had to get over my own doubt and fear to bring this podcast to life and I’m so glad I did because I LOVE doing it. 

And thanks to you, it has grown steadily and even has been picked up by Podcast One! None of this would be possible without YOU. Thank you for being part of my tribe. Thank you for listening. Thank you for sharing the show with others. Thank you to those of you who have been coached on air for showing up with so much courage.

Go here to listen to Episode 100 with Judy!

Today I encourage you to STOP allowing fear, doubt or just not having all the answers to prevent you or even delay you from taking action.  If you have an idea or creation you long to bring to life, go for it! 

Here’s the thing to keep in mind that may give you some peace of mind:  you do not have to know all the steps to the finish line to get started.  If you are working to get from A to Z, you do not need to know what step D or M or S is. Just take step A and then determine what step B is. Moving one step at a time generates momentum and the more momentum you more likely you are to reach your goal.

And don’t miss episode 100 where I coach Judy on how to find yourself when you feel isolated and lack self-esteem. Listen here.

Please share this our 100th coaching call with your friends.  Here is a tweet for you:

Very helpful tips to overcome loneliness and people pleasing on Ep 100 of Over it and On with it. (tweet this!!)

Thank you again for listening to Over It and On With It!! Here’s to hundreds and hundreds of more amazing and inspiring calls with my fellow growth seekers.

With love,

Christine